Bump. Set. Spike.

volleyball.

Love it! horrible at it though…but I have something I’m better at. And I didn’t even know it til a couple years ago.

Setting people up for failure. sabotaging any effort you might have shown. Take for instance my husband. And let’s say it’s my birthday. Yay me.

So I say nothing for weeks before hand. I don’t offer any blunt helpful hints like, “Hey dude, this would be a great gift for my bday!!” After all, he SHOULD remember; and be creative on his own…… BUMP.

The day before, and especially the morning of, I’m sullen, and grumpy and already sure he hasn’t thought of me and my so called special day at all…… SET.

And then when he shows up with nothing or even worse, what I think is a horrible display of lack of love (after all my strongest love language is “gifts” I mean come ON. We went thru that book like what? 3 years ago? why doesn’t he remember this stuff?!”) I BLOW UP. completely lose it and cry and do the “you don’t love me” scene… SPIKE.

I don’t play mind games anymore. I have learned not to sabotage my husband. I tell him straight up how it is, and how I feel. There is alot more respect that comes from that than from sitting in my ambush waiting for him to fall into my nicely covered pit with sharpened sticks in the bottom.

We talk honestly. Even if it hurts. But in the end you walk away KNOWING what the other is thinking and feeling. Girls, we all know how manipulative we can be. It’s gross, really. You can’t say “Go out and have fun with the guys” and then be pissed when he does. You just told him it was fine. Bump.

Then you call him or text, and you’re upset when he doesn’t pay attention to you. Therefore you’re not important to him. After all, he should drop everything for you.  Really? ugh…. Set.

SO now he’s embarrassed and frustrated, because in his heart, the very last thing he wants is to make you unhappy, no matter how real it seems to you that he lies awake at night thinking up ways to piss you off. (Nope. He’s sleeping. I promise.) He’s not having any fun with the guys, and worse yet, they think he’s whipped because it’s evident he’s worried, and confused about what just happened. He gets home and is mad, and you’re upset that he’s mad. SPIKE. for the win.

Are you happy?? I mean, you got what you wanted right?? His full attention. I mean really, if you wanted his attention, you could’ve went with him when he invited you. Then you would’ve been there, having fun together. Silly me.  You didn’t want to have FUN together did you?

It’s exhausting. Don’t do it. Be honest. Be real. If you’re tired and want to stay home; then SLEEP. Don’t text and call and hang up all huffy.

Just imagine what would happen if your countenance was cheerful, and you had a smile on your face. And you laughed, and weren’t stressed around every corner. If you had a contagious LIFE about you; and went and had some fun for crying out sideways!!! Imagine….

So he asks kinda half heartedly if you would like to go bowling with some friends. But it doesn’t start til 930pm. You’re exhausted. But you say “Heck yes I wanna go!!” His chin is on the floor, but he stammers “yeah alright that’ll be f-f-fun!” He thinks “I hope”….. BUMP.

So you go, and you’re not thinking about how tired you are. You’re life-giving. Laughing, engaging in the conversations and wit around you. He thinks “Wow! I didn’t know she could be this fun!” ….SET.

You finally leave at 12:30 am, and you never once acted like you were dragged there, or unwilling to be there, and you genuinely had fun. He’s looking at you different, did you notice?  It’ll be a while before you get to go to sleep….. SPIKE.

I don’t know about you, but I like the third scenario the best…….

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